I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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