i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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