There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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