You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He felt like a one man threesome
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
