Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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