I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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