so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
