Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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