Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
