i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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