i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
