Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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