That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
