Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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