You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
