But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
