the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I need water and some morals
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
