No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
