So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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