Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
