It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
