Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
