thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
