let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
