Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
