i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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