the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Barsexuality is the new black.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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