I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
