Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
