the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
