i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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