he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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