I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
