On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
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We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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