just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
