dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
