Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
