if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
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He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
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Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i've created a new STD.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
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