o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
