Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
