The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize