Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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