If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just found puke in my bra..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
