whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
