My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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