maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize