We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize