i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize