so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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