Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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