I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
